It wasn't a difficult question. Three simple words. Easily answered with either "yes" or "no". But the question caught me off guard, and I stumbled over my words. I'm still not sure what answer came out of my mouth in the moment.
The question wrecked me. It has replayed itself in my mind a hundred times. It has wreaked havoc on my emotions. I know very clearly what the real answer is. It's been something I've been able to avoid dealing with countless times over the years. Avoidance is no longer an option. I've struggled with the answer late at night, with tears streaming down my face. I've wrestled with the answer while raking leaves, cleaning my house, driving around town. God and I have talked, argued, fought. There is no resolution, just an ache.
The answer is yes.
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