I've felt disconnected all day long. I sat and listened but I didn't actually hear anything. Time moved very slowly but I didn't accomplish much. I wanted to enjoy the beautiful day but I didn't want to do it alone so I didn't leave my house.
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Please, God, don't let there be a gun.
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Relationships are fluid and they change. I know it's part of life, but I don't always like it.
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Discontent has become a frequent visitor. Discontent visits me at home and at work, with friendships and with family. I wonder if it's a gift from God. Strange, I know. But I wonder if the discontent makes it easier for big life change. I'm comfortable with my current lot in life. I like where I live, who I spend time with, what I do for a living. I like all of it, but I'm not content and I want more. I wonder if it's sin. God has given me everything I need and a lot of what I want, but I'm not content. Is it pride? Is it greed?
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I held that tiny baby yesterday and a dozen thoughts resonated deep in my heart. I'm not at a place where I am willing to verbalize any of those thoughts to anyone. So I hold on to my thoughts tightly and my heart whispers secrets to the One who knows it all and knows me better than I know myself.
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I very much want to hide away lately. This is not normal for me (or healthy). And I'm ignorning that still, small voice. That's a problem.
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